Geeezz ... what had i done to myself.. and still, what the crap am I doing ?

21 years of age.. i confess, i am So very Concious of what I am doing.. in fact, i made myself to do this.. or should i say, i Allow myself to do this without a reason..

years back during those F2/F3 dayz, when bunch of my friends have had cigar with them.. Eewoan, the girl who sat beside me in the class during my F3 , Nyet, my best mate in JS, SinYee, ChuHooi and the list goes on.. those who belongs to the gang.. my mem'ry is vague, still.. (u probably found this sentence appear quite frequent.. hrm..had I told u i got *Short Term mem'ry Lost* ... hehe) ... i cant remember whose the one who start with the "trend" or maybe no1 actually was the leader.. what i remember the one and only reason that they gave me is :"Stress" .. which i claimed that was the Stupiest and Lamest excuses i ever heard of and Completely rejected that.. I wasnt one of them Yet.. I was just the stupid 2nd-hand smoker who were by the side while they .... er... yea.. u know what i mean..

not long ago.. approx 1 year back.. my ""best-est mate in college.. yea. u guys know who she is.. give me Another Lame Excuse and started with this *bad habit*.. i know i no longer had the power to stop her.. I dont have the power to stop her when i was there, what about now.. what i can and affort is just to contact her through sms, or chat trough the net, occasionally, and reminding her what is she doing.. i know, she always found me being too long-winded.. she told me that she was so stress-up.. was strugggling for something, which she dont know what the heck was that..or mayb i know, i mean i know, if not mistaken.. something which sound stupid, but yet, had happenned (on her) .. ops..i seems like gone too far.. >wish she wouldn't kill me if she ever c this.. or mayb not, coz i wasn't convinced that she will read my blog. ever...haha< ... what i wanted to say is, She Letting herself to be 1 step closer to kill her Love one around her... or maybe not that serious, coz ev1 does that, so, ev1, including these "love one" risk to be killed ..

ohya, did i mention why i hated that so much ? of coz there is a reason.. someone, something, some times.. that had planted this feeling of Hatred in me..

Well, it doesn't seems to be important, anymore.. i m now one of 'em ...

*I hated Myself*